Do you ever feel like someone doesn't care about you? Conversely, have you ever been told by someone that they feel like you don't like them? This can happen quite easily because everyone has a different way of expressing love, and want to receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman has written about this dilemma and came up with the five love languages.
1. Words of Affirmation
When people have this as their love language, it means that they feel loved when people express compliments and appreciation verbally. People with this love language might be more likely to write love letters to others and give sincere apologies.
2. Acts of Service
For this love language, people often do things to ease the burden of others. People with this love language are likely offer to do things for someone or pamper a loved one. They are good at making behaviour changes after a conflict.
3. Quality Time
These people are the type to keep their phone away when they are with you. They are interested in spending time with the ones they love and providing their undivided attention. They are likely to listen with empathy and make eye contact.
4. Giving Gifts
For this love language, people will purchase special, meaningful gifts for the ones they love. They make birthdays special for others and share tokens of their love for someone.
5. Physical Touch
When people have this as their love language, they demonstrate that they care with touch that reinforces one's presence. They are likely to give long hugs, enjoy hand holding, and enjoy being close to other people.
As you can see, these five ways of expressing love are all nice and good, but it is easy to see how we can get caught in the cross-hairs if someone has a different love language than we do. For example, you might be the kind of person to give thoughtful gifts, but your best friend is not. You might be feeling like they don't care as much about you because they forgot about a special occasion. However, they might have the love language of quality time and enjoy creating special moments together, but feel like you don't care because you were checking your phone while you were together. It is important to understand what makes others feel loved so that we can make sure we avoid things that would be especially hurtful for that kind of person.
What kind of love language do you have? What about your family and friends?
How might this impact the way we show love to others?
Let me know what you think!
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